TOEFL100点以上を目指す社会人の方のための集中勉強会のご案内です。

一回の受講で、100点までの道のりが明確に見えるようになりますので、安心してその後の勉強を実施することができます。

TOEFL学習記録86

TOEFL essay No.6

People in the past ate healthier food than people today.
Agree or disagree?

Because the average life expectancy today is higher than in the past, some argue that people today eat healthier food. However, I believe that people in the past consumed healthier food than people today because our ancestors ate organic foods without added chemicals and with less fat and sugar.

First, people who lived centuries ago consumed organic foods without added chemicals since substances such as artificial colors, preservatives, fertilizers, pesticides, and insecticides were not available. In addition, transgenic plants that might adversely affect our health were not available. On the contrary, today it is almost impossible to find foods that do not contain these artificial ingredients.

Second, our ancestors consumed less fat. According to one study, an average adult that lived 100 years ago consumed 20 percent of his total calories from fat sources; in contrast, an average adult today consumed 35% of his total calories from fat. Less fat consumption has been linked to less people being overweight and a reduction in high blood pressure, diabetes, cardiovascular diseases and certain forms of cancer. According to another study, the average weight of an adult male 100 years ago was 30 pounds less than that of an adult male today. In fact, the other day, my father showed me a photograph of our ancestors 100 years ago, and they all looked very skinny and healthy.

Last but not least, people in the past consumed less sugar. Our ancestors didn’t have access to the sodas or sugary coffee drinks that we have today, and sugar was very expensive. Therefore, they consumed much less than we do. Today, sugar is added to almost everything we eat, and it’s pretty hard to avoid. For example, my brother drinks 4 liters of Coca-Cola every day, and if my memory serves me right, one litter of Coca-Cola contains 110 grams of sugar, meaning 4 liters of Coke includes 440 grams of sugar. No wonder he weighs 250 pounds and suffers from diabetes!


In conclusion, the fact that the average life expectancy is much longer today than it was in the past is probably due to advanced medical treatment instead of diet. I believe that our ancestors ate healthier food than people today because their food was more organic and contained less fat and sugar.
---------------------------------------------------
TOEFLのraterの経験のあるアメリカ人に添削をお願いしているが、いつもながら真っ赤になって帰ってくる。いかに自分の英文は日本人の英語で、ナチュラルでないかがわかる。TOEFLの点数とは関係なく、ナチュラルな英語が書けるようになりたい。いままで英作文に力を入れてこなかったのを深く反省。とりあえず、エッセーを30くらい書いて、添削してもらい、修正していく。
-------------------------------------------------
the average weight of an adult (単数)
In conclusionを段落の頭に。最終段落全体が結論なので。
結論は、TSを上手に言い換える。難しいが。

[タグ未指定]
[ 2012/08/30 08:20 ] TOEFL学習記録 | TB(-) | CM(0)
コメントの投稿












管理者にだけ表示を許可する
プロフィール

Andy

Author:Andy
プロフィール:

TOEIC 990点
英検1級合格二次試験100点(優秀賞)
TOEFL iBT 119点

名前:Andy
年齢:59歳
学歴:University of Missouri at Rolla 工学部原子力工学科卒業
職業:技術系の通訳を30年以上やっています。

仕事柄、欧米人と仕事をすることが多く、Andyというニックネームを使っています。
北陸の田舎に住んでいます。毎週、北陸新幹線にお世話になっています。
コシヒカリを食べて育った純粋な日本人です。アメリカ人、ハーフではありません。
韓国語、中国語は全くできません。

毎月TOEFLを受験しています。
ソラシティ、武蔵小杉、テンプル大学麻布校3階が好きな会場です。

最新トラックバック
カレンダー
09 | 2017/10 | 11
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30 31 - - - -
FC2カウンター
アクセスランキング
[ジャンルランキング]
未設定
--位
アクセスランキングを見る>>

[サブジャンルランキング]
未設定
--位
アクセスランキングを見る>>
天気予報

-天気予報コム- -FC2-
ブロとも一覧