TOEFL100点以上を目指す社会人の方のための集中勉強会のご案内です。

一回の受講で、100点までの道のりが明確に見えるようになりますので、安心してその後の勉強を実施することができます。

TOEFL学習記録64

A good teacher is a strict teacher.

Some people think that a good teacher is a strict teacher. I admit that being strict is an important attribute of a teacher, because teachers need to discipline students. However, I am convinced that there are more important requirements to be a good teacher.

For starters, a good teacher should not be a policeman. In my high school, I had one particular PE teacher, who was an extremely strict and authoritative person. He behaved like a policeman and all he was concerned about was to make students comply with the rules and standards. He treated us like potential criminals. I wished he had trusted us and encouraged us to be good students.

Second of all, a good teacher should not be a violent person. In my grade school, I had another PE teacher, who happened to be the coach of my volleyball team. He was a very violent person. Nowadays, physical punishment is prohibited at school. However, in those days, slapping students in the face was a routine practice among teachers. My team mates were all good students, studying hard and practicing volleyball hard. One day the team lost a match in a competition. After the game, this coach slapped all of us in the face. How could a teacher hit all those innocent students for just one loss of a volleyball game?

Last but not least, a good teacher should be a caring person. When I was in high school, my English teacher, Mr. Miller, was a supportive and caring person. I participated in an English public speaking competition. Mr. Miller helped me to prepare a speech, listened to my delivery many times, and made valuable suggestions to improve. If it had not been for his assistance, I could not have won the first prize in the competition.

Some people think that a good teacher is a strict teacher, but I am convinced that there are more critical attributes than just being strict, as stated above. In particular, I would like to emphasize that a good teacher should be a caring person. If it had not been for the assistance of my caring teachers, I could not have achieved my success. (369 words). e-rator=5
----------------------------------------
テンプレートに頼らない。
繰り返さない。
第一パラグラフが短すぎ。E-ratorは短いのが嫌い。
短い文章を避ける。できるだけ、but,while, などで繋いで長くする。
結論では3つの理由を繰り返さず、3つのうちの一つの理由が一番大切だで締めくくる。
------------------------------------------

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Computers have complicated people's lives.

Some people think that computer have complicated people’s lives. I partially agree with this statement, because if one computer system of a bank inadvertently fails, millions of people may be affected. However, I am convinced that the advantages of computers far outweigh the disadvantages. I will present three reasons to support my contention.

For starters, computers can save people money. To be specific, a computer based mathematical modeling can simulate how a car will deform upon hitting another car or wall. Researchers no longer need need to physically crush cars. According to an automobile magazine, Toyota used to crash about 300 cars per year for various impact tests. Today, because of this advanced computer modeling, they crash only 50 cars to meet the regulatory requirements. This brings significant monetary savings.

Second of all, computers can save people time. I am a nuclear engineer. When I was an undergraduate student, one of the assignments was to calculate how many grams of uranium were required to initiate a spontaneous nuclear chain reaction. It took me two days to solve this problem using my hand calculator. Now I have a computer program to calculate the critical mass of uranium, and it takes a mere ten seconds.

Last but not least, computers can facilitate communication among people. My job requires me to travel extensively. I used to spend a significant amount of money on making phone calls to my family and friends. Now, thanks to Skype, it costs me nothing. In addition, many business meetings with foreign clients can be held through the internet, so that we do not have to travel to other countries.

While some people think that computers have complicated people’s lives, my contention is that computers have made people’s lives easy , because the advantages of computers far exceed their disadvantages, as explained above. In particular, the computer based communication networks have significantly contributed to the success of the global economy. Computers in the future will make our lives even easier and what will transpire is beyond our imagination. (339 words/Score 6)
---------------------------------------------------
長い文章、長い段落を心がける。接続語(in addition, moreover, as a result, therefore, however, first, second, another, last, because, after finally, final, probably, particularly, actually, in order to, following, many times,while, whereas)をたくさん入れる。
テンプレートを使わない。語数が少なくなるので、E-Ratorの採点には不利だが、点数は追い求めない、立派な英語を書けるように。
ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー
注意:上記の作文は私の長い勉強過程の一時期に書いたもので、使われているテンプレート、書き方などは現在使っているものと大きく違いますのでご注意ください。 勉強会でご紹介したものが現在のテンプレート、書き方です。

[タグ未指定]
[ 2012/07/20 10:03 ] TOEFL学習記録 | TB(-) | CM(0)
コメントの投稿












管理者にだけ表示を許可する
プロフィール

Andy

Author:Andy
プロフィール:

TOEIC 990点
英検1級合格二次試験100点(優秀賞)
TOEFL iBT 119点

名前:Andy
年齢:59歳
学歴:University of Missouri at Rolla 工学部原子力工学科卒業
職業:技術系の通訳を30年以上やっています。

仕事柄、欧米人と仕事をすることが多く、Andyというニックネームを使っています。
北陸の田舎に住んでいます。毎週、北陸新幹線にお世話になっています。
コシヒカリを食べて育った純粋な日本人です。アメリカ人、ハーフではありません。
韓国語、中国語は全くできません。

毎月TOEFLを受験しています。
ソラシティ、武蔵小杉、テンプル大学麻布校3階が好きな会場です。

最新トラックバック
カレンダー
09 | 2017/10 | 11
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30 31 - - - -
FC2カウンター
アクセスランキング
[ジャンルランキング]
未設定
--位
アクセスランキングを見る>>

[サブジャンルランキング]
未設定
--位
アクセスランキングを見る>>
天気予報

-天気予報コム- -FC2-
ブロとも一覧