TOEFL100点以上を目指す社会人の方のための集中勉強会のご案内です。

UCSD Rady School of Managementに留学中の竹崎孝二さんのブログから引用させていただいたWritingです。テンプレートの良い例として大変参考になりますので使わせていただきます。

竹崎孝二さんは大変苦労されてMBA留学を果たされ、大変貴重な情報が読み取れます。これからMBAに挑戦される方は竹崎さんのブログを参考にされたら良いと思います。

問題：
It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books.” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?

本文：
Some people think knowledge gained from experience is more important than knowledge gained from books. Others think knowledge gained from books is more important than knowledge gained from experience. If asked, both groups will provide logical reasons to support their stance. I personally think knowledge gained from experience is more important than knowledge gained from books.

導入部：
Some people think that A
Others think that B.
If asked, both groups will provide logical reasons to substantiate their assertions.
I am personally convinced that A is more important than B.
導入部はこのテンプレートを使えば、どんなトピックでも同じようにかけるのが良い。

First, gaining knowledge from books is easier than gaining knowledge from experience. For example, I was on the tennis team when I was a high school student. The team had only one tennis court even though the team consisted of more than sixty students. In addition, I could not practice tennis when it was rain because the tennis court was outside. Therefore, I could not train or practice tennis enough. By contrast, I decided to buy several books about tennis skills. This was easy way to learn about tennis because I could buy books in a minute and read the books even when it was rain. As a result, I could learn skills of forehand, backhand, and serve and volley from the books. As this example illustrates, gaining knowledge from books is easier than gaining knowledge from experience.

Body1:
First, TS(topic sentence) 1.
For example, In addition, Therefore, because, As a result,
6つの文章でTS1を説明。
最後に、As this example illustrates, TS 1.
最後にTopic　sentence 1を繰り返しているのが良いと思う。

On the other hand, knowledge from experience is more practical than knowledge from books. For instance, when I was a junior at the University of Tokyo, a well-known university in Japan, I studied English to study abroad. At first, I read English newspaper and Wall Street Journal to build my vocabulary in a local library. In addition, I read books about grammar or how to write essays. However, I could not improve my English at all. Then I went to a university in New York for two years to study English and finance. In classes, I had to use English to discuss case studies and write reports about international finance. After I came back to Japan, I realized my English skills were dramatically improved. As the experience above shows, knowledge from experience is more practical than knowledge from books.

Body 2:
On the other hand、TS 2.
For instance, At first, In addition, Then,
6つの文章でTS2をサポート。
最後に、As the experience above shows,　でTS 2を繰り返す。

Moreover, knowledge from experience makes people learn deeper than knowledge from books. Two years ago, I worked for Ishikawa Prefecture, a rural area in Japan. Before I went there, I knew the problem of disparity between Tokyo and rural areas in Japan by reading books. However, when I went to Ishikawa Prefecture, I was surprised with the real, serious situation. Ishikawa Prefecture was suffering with serious problems such as aged people, old public institutions, and high rate of suicide. I could not imagine such serious problems until I went to Ishikawa Prefecture. As this experience demonstrates, knowledge from experience makes people learn deeper than knowledge from books.

Body3:
Moreover, TS3
4つの文章でTS3をサポート。
最後にAs this experience demonstrates,　TS3.

While some people think knowledge gained from experience is more important than knowledge gained from books, others think knowledge gained from books is more important than knowledge gained from experience. First, gaining knowledge from books is easier than gaining knowledge from experience. On the other hand, knowledge from experience is more practical than knowledge from books. Moreover, knowledge from experience makes people learn deeper than knowledge from books. For the above reasons, I strongly believe knowledge gained from experience is more important than knowledge gained from books.

結論：
While some people think that A, others think B.
First, TS1. On the other hand, TS2. Moreover, TS3.
For the above reasons, I am firmly convinced that A is more important than B.

大変ロジカルで良いテンプレートと思う。
導入がどんなトッピクでも同じようにかけるので、語彙数を稼ぐのによい。
Bodyで、短い文章を5つくらい使って、詳細にTSをサポートしている。高尚な文章でなくても、短い文章で、in addition, as a result, thereforeなどを使ってうまくつなげている。BODYの最後にTSを繰り返す（As this exmaple illustrates, demonstrates, shows)のがとても良い。
結論は、TS1,2,3をcut&pasteするだけなので短時間で完成。
ワード数は525ワードなので、十分すぎるワード数。
ワード数を稼ぎながら、短時間で書ける大変優れたテンプレートだと思う。是非参考にしたい。

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注意：上記の作文は私の長い勉強過程の一時期に書いたもので、使われているテンプレート、書き方などは現在使っているものと大きく違いますのでご注意ください。 勉強会でご紹介したものが現在のテンプレート、書き方です。